Twitter users are joking about new CDC guidlines - Upworthy

2021-12-30 05:53:00 By : Ms. Amy Li

The CDC changed its COVID-19 isolation guidelines on Monday in a move that confused a lot of people. The CDC now recommends that asymptomatic people infected with COVID-19 isolate for five days, instead of 10.

It also recommends that after isolation, those who were infected wear a mask for five days while around others.

The move comes at a time when there has been a major rise in cases across the country due to the omicron variant. The decision has a lot of people asking, “Why are we sending people who’ve been infected out in public sooner when the number of cases is on the rise?”

There has also been anxiety among the business community that an increase in isolated employees may lead to staffing shortages across the country. So is the CDC just bowing to the business community or is there a good reason for us to be more relaxed about a deadly disease?

“The Omicron variant is spreading quickly and has the potential to impact all facets of our society. CDC’s updated recommendations for isolation and quarantine balance what we know about the spread of the virus and the protection provided by vaccination and booster doses,” CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky said in a statement. “These updates ensure people can safely continue their daily lives,” she added. “Prevention is our best option: get vaccinated, get boosted, wear a mask in public indoor settings in areas of substantial and high community transmission, and take a test before you gather.” There are a lot of people out there who think reducing isolation periods at a time when infections are on the rise is a really bad idea. So a group of people on Twitter decided to do the only thing we can in such crazy times, have a laugh. The Twitter users have been speculating on other pieces of bad advice the CDC may come out with in the future. Here are 16 of the funniest. cdc says go ahead and get bangs — Ygrene\u2122 (@Ygrene\u2122) 1640707041 No, don't get bangs. cdc says if you can lean you can clean — rava (@rava) 1640659894 People are a little suspicious that the CDC is kowtowing to business interests. The CDC says if you blow weed smoke in a paper towel roll while covering the hole with a dryer sheet your mom won\u2019t smell it. — La Befana (@La Befana) 1640712034 The worst piece of advice you'll ever get in high school. The CDC says it is now OK to go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. — Michael G. Bazemore (@Michael G. Bazemore) 1640748070 Vizzini begs to differ. CDC says you can now eat the Silica Gel packet if you\u2019re feeling a little peckish — basement fire (@basement fire) 1640704022 You can eat the packet that says "DO NOT EAT" if your boss says it's ok. The CDC says you can now wipe back to front — Bog Witch Energy (@Bog Witch Energy) 1640645088 No comment. the cdc says you can check out any time you like but you can never leave — maura quint (@maura quint) 1640755214 In 2022, Don Henley will become the CDC director. the cdc says sex is just so much better without a condom and promises to pull out — alyssugh (@alyssugh) 1640722263 The CDC pinky swears it will. The CDC says you can now ask \u201cwhat are we\u201d after 5 dates. — Alexandra Bucky Variant Chaos Magic Anderson (@Alexandra Bucky Variant Chaos Magic Anderson) 1640653938 The CDC is so needy these days. The CDC says you can now run with scissors. — \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 Cat Herding Science Nerd \ud83d\udd2c (@\ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\ud83c\udf08 Cat Herding Science Nerd \ud83d\udd2c) 1640656909 You can run with scissors, as long as you're wearing a mask. The CDC says it\u2019s now ok to watch your dog stretch without saying \u201coooooh, BIG STRETCH\u201d — Sarah Axelrath, MD (@Sarah Axelrath, MD) 1640663316 No one can watch their dog stretch without making a comment. It's impossible. The CDC says you actually need a note from your boss to go to the doctor — \ud83c\udf84Holiday Cheer Austin\ud83c\udf84 (@\ud83c\udf84Holiday Cheer Austin\ud83c\udf84) 1640738220 The CDC only cares about your boss these days. Your health? Not so much. CDC says you can have either thoughts or prayers, but not both. — \ud83c\udf0a Purl \ud83c\udf0a (@\ud83c\udf0a Purl \ud83c\udf0a) 1640716860 What about ivermectin? CDC says rub some dirt on it, walk it off — Red Army Duck (@Red Army Duck) 1640663764 The CDC is now a dad in the '70s. The CDC says to just put some Vicks on it. — Jason Thomas (@Jason Thomas) 1640703995 Vicks cures everything. BREAKING: cdc says it is fine to bathe with your toaster as long as you plug it in first — Incindery \ud83d\udd25 (@Incindery \ud83d\udd25) 1640646381 Clean toasters make healthy toast.

“The Omicron variant is spreading quickly and has the potential to impact all facets of our society. CDC’s updated recommendations for isolation and quarantine balance what we know about the spread of the virus and the protection provided by vaccination and booster doses,” CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky said in a statement.

“These updates ensure people can safely continue their daily lives,” she added. “Prevention is our best option: get vaccinated, get boosted, wear a mask in public indoor settings in areas of substantial and high community transmission, and take a test before you gather.”

There are a lot of people out there who think reducing isolation periods at a time when infections are on the rise is a really bad idea. So a group of people on Twitter decided to do the only thing we can in such crazy times, have a laugh.

The Twitter users have been speculating on other pieces of bad advice the CDC may come out with in the future. Here are 16 of the funniest.

People are a little suspicious that the CDC is kowtowing to business interests.

The worst piece of advice you'll ever get in high school.

You can eat the packet that says "DO NOT EAT" if your boss says it's ok.

In 2022, Don Henley will become the CDC director.

The CDC pinky swears it will.

The CDC is so needy these days.

You can run with scissors, as long as you're wearing a mask.

No one can watch their dog stretch without making a comment. It's impossible.

The CDC only cares about your boss these days. Your health? Not so much.

The CDC is now a dad in the '70s.

Clean toasters make healthy toast.

Blockbuster video sign and pagers.

In “Back to the Future,” teenager Marty McFly goes back in time 30 years, from 1985 to 1955. But what if the film were made today and he went back from 2021 to 1991? I think the culture shock of a modern teenager going from a post-to-pre internet world would be much greater than the one that Marty experienced in the original film.

Would a kid from today be able to dial a payphone? Read a clock with actual hands? Look up directions on a Thomas Guide map?

A lot has changed since the dawn of the new millennium so a group of Redditors marked the changes in a post entitled: “What is something that was used heavily in the year 2000, but it's almost never used today?”

Here are 17 of the best posts.

"Geocities, neopets, livejournal, kazaa," — PapaWeir

GeoCities is definitely one of those things that was everywhere and then suddenly disappeared. At its peak, GeoCities hosted millions of websites, but its popularity declined after it was purchased by Yahoo and web hosting became cheaper.

​"If you had a big screen TV it was probably a ridiculously thick rear projection TV," — ParoxysmAttack

Before plasma TVs came around, if you had a big screen it was also a seriously deep-screen TV.

"Re-writable CDs. I used to burn so many mix cds after downloading from napster, bearshare, limewire, frostwire," — Shittinwithmykitten

Napster created a music revolution overnight, but where were we going to save all of that new, stolen music? Rewriteable CDs were all the rage before the iPod came along and put 'em in the palm of your hand.

"Payphones. (Yes I know payphones still exist. Also, I am now very aware payphones are free in Australia, thank you for informing me.)" — Adreeisadyno

Kids these days have never had to walk five blocks to make a phone call.

weeeeeeeee WOOOOOO_OOOOOO_ E E E E E E E EEEEEeeeeee eee eee URRRRRRRRRBEDULUDOLEDULUDOLEEPEEPEEP R R R R R R R R R R R R RUMMMMMMMMMMMM," — Martini_Man_

Those of us who lived in the dial-up era will never, ever forget the whizzing, belching sound that we had to sit through to experience the World Wide Web.

"Indoor smoking. My young-ish kids marvel at the fact that people used to sit in restaurants and smoke," — TurdFergDSF

People used to smoke on airplanes, in hospitals, at restaurants ... pretty much everywhere.

It wasn't Friday night in the '90s without a two-liter of Pepsi, a large pizza and a stack of VHS tapes from Blockbuster video.

Want to feel old? In 2016, Funai, which manufacturers the VCRs in China for Sanyo, announced it would produce its final VHS player, making it the last one ever produced.

"Welcome!" "You've got mail!" AOL was the leading internet provider in the late '90s but soon lost its relevance after merging with Time Warner, Inc. in 2000.

"Calculators; teachers kept saying 'you won’t have one with you all the time,' look who’s stupid now?! Both of us…" — elika007

A calculator was a luxury item in the '80s. In the '90s, a Texas Instruments graphing calculator could cost you $90. Now, it's all on your phone along with a million other apps.

"A/S/L" — Smart_North_3374

Anyone who's a proud member of Gen X knows the "age/sex/location" question. It's the first thing you asked in an AOL chatroom when people used to try to hook up online. Of course, nobody answered it honestly, but that was half the fun.

In the 2000s everyone wore skinny jeans. But in the 1990s, people wore the baggiest jeans possible. The award for baggiest jeans goes to JNCO, the manufacturers of raver pants that fit two legs and a few kilos worth of MDMA.

The pager was one of the most popular status symbols of the '90s. Nothing said "cool" like having a pager that was constantly blowing up. (Does anyone under the age of 40 know what it means for a pager to "blow up"?)

"'Wanna Cyber?'" God . We were awful," — icanbeafrick

Back in the AOL days, the closest you could come to getting it on while online was through cyber sex. There were no pictures or video so you just exchanged dirty messages until the other person logged off. The typical cyber session began with, "What are you wearing?"

"Travel agencies. Now I can do everything on my phone," — whatdoineedaname4

If you can belive it, before there was Priceline, there was a person sitting at a desk with a rotary phone who booked your seven-day trip to Europe.

Five year-old Abi has a passion for fashion. Like many creative people her age, the self-described fashionista loves singing, dancing, and dressing up for mother-daughter photoshoots alongside her twin sister.

You wouldn’t know it from her bright smile, but just last year Abi received a life-saving bone marrow transplant to treat a painful blood disorder she’s had since birth. “We were told she needed a bone marrow transplant or the alternative was for her to have a stroke at the age of three,” Abi’s mom says.

That is scary news no parent wants to hear, but Abi’s mom knew her daughter needed the treatment to survive. Despite the pain, Abi bravely received repeat bone marrow transplants over the course of a year. (Her twin sister Vivi was the generous donor!)

After the treatments, the family was connected with Make-A-Wish®, a nonprofit that spreads hope and positivity by granting wishes for young people like Abi who are fighting critical illnesses.

“I like dressing up and taking pictures with my sister,” Abi says. “I have been doing it for a long time and my mom told me that one day I will be on billboards all over the world.”

Photo courtesy of Abi's family

Inspired by her family’s stylish shoots, Abi wished to be on a Macy’s billboard. To fulfill that dream, Abi, Vivi, and their mom traveled to New York City earlier this year to participate in a photoshoot with the Macy’s creative team in partnership with Make-A-Wish. The two siblings posed in a series of outfits that included an animal print number with a white fuzzy vest and a festive red lace dress with black-and-white sneakers.

The event was a huge success for Abi and her family. And the billboard debuts November 29 in Prince George, Maryland this holiday season.

“I loved NYC, I really enjoyed the photoshoot. It made me soooo happy and I can't wait to go back to New York,” Abi says.

“The effort put into our experience was phenomenal,” Abi’s mom adds. “I know the experience in New York was special and etched in the minds of the twins. They often ask when we are going back to New York for another photoshoot. Throughout the experience, we felt loved, thought about, and seen.”

Make-A-Wish couldn’t spread joy to children, families, and communities without the generous support of individuals and partners like Macy’s. Giving can start with something as simple as a letter to Santa: If you write a letter online or drop one off at a big red letterbox in-store, Macy’s will donate $1 to Make-A-Wish, up to $1 million in total.

Besides sending letters to Santa, there are even more ways to support Make-A-Wish at Macy’s during the season of giving. For every purchase of the $4 Believe Bracelet, Macy’s will donate $2 to Make-A-Wish from now through December 31. Customers can also donate on Macys.com through the end of 2021 to help spread hope and happiness to children with life-changing illnesses.

Since 2003, Macy’s has donated over $137 million to Make-A-Wish. These donations have helped Make-A-Wish fulfill the dreams of more than 16,000 young people just like Abi!

Microscopic images satisfy TikTok commenters' natural curiosity.

Ever wondered what an espresso looked like under a microscope? How about a pumpkin? Octopus sucker?

Thanks to pharm tech college student and TikTok star of science Justice Dodson, all of your micro-curiosities can be satisfied. And wow, it is crazy to look at our big, big world through this teeny tiny lens.

Reply to @user646472910474810 Corona or Corona? ##foryou ##microscope ##science ##TargetHalloween ##MakeItCinematic

It’s probably no surprise that many, many, many people ask to see the coronavirus up close and personal. Although Dodson does a bit of a bait-and-switch here.

He starts the video by letting us know, “I have Corona, so I can finally show you what it looks like under a microscope”

… and then proceeds to pull out a Corona beer bottle.

This was still a teachable moment, because we learned that the virus is way too small and would need a much more powerful device to be visible. Something called an electron microscope. Sounds like something from a Marvel movie.

As one person commented, “I was excited, disappointed, and informed all in the span of 30 seconds,” and that accurately sums it all up.

Reply to @that_trippy_chick22 Cow + Pig = Pepperoni ##foryou ##microscope ##velabco ##wehavethemeats ##CurameChoreo

It looks like pimply skin, then a gaseous planet. Don’t watch before pizza.

Davy Jones vibes 🐙 ##foryou ##microscope ##velabco ##ocotpus ##NissanShowUp

First off, an octopus is already fun to look at. But Dodson took a piece of an octopus arm (I’m guessing from a market?) and under the microscope it looks even more like an alien creature.

Bonus points for creativity, as he used the “Davy Jones Theme” from "Pirates of the Caribbean" for his audio. I giggled at that.

It’s also great to see that Dodson is inspiring other scientists-in-training, as many share their appreciation, knowledge and enthusiasm in the comments.

One person wrote, "hoping to be a medical lab scientist one day, love your videos."

Reply to @defender2090 I found it like this all shriveled up :( ##foryou ##microscope ##velabco ##123PandoraME ##TakeTheDayOffChallenge

People really, really, really like the squishing ones.

Reply to @user646472910474810 Happy Halloween! 🎃 ##foryou ##microscope ##pumpkin ##velabco ##science ##PUBGMOBILE

Holy moly, that crazy transformation from 100x to 400x. I will never think of jack-o-lanterns the same way again.

Reply to @hnnh.cstr Red wine, extra red 🩸🔬 ##velabco ##microscope ##science ##wine ##JifRapChallenge

In a beautiful cascade, the red blood cells meet their demise, due to the alcohol.

So yeah, in case you were considering it, don’t inject red wine!

Reply to @.seanm RIP George ##foryou ##CowboyBebop ##MunchiesWithTubi ##microscope ##velabco ##science

I was half hoping for some kind of hidden clue-like message that “National Treasure” always promised us. But still quite cool to see.

Especially toward the end where you see how money is a bunch of fibers seemingly sewn together. There's a metaphor for capitalism somewhere in there.

##stitch with @noelmulk0 Do you have mold in your water bottle? 🔬🔬 ##foryou ##microscope ##velabco ##mold ##k18hairflip

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Dodson's TikToks, it’s that nowhere is safe.

Reply to @nikki_smiht LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE CLAWS 🥺 ##foryou ##microscope ##velabco ##MyBrawlSuper ##waterbear ##tardigrade

Found inside a little puddle on moss and dirt, and with a bonus tardigrade egg!

This is one of the cuter ones, most definitely.

Reply to @user646472910474810 lil bubbles ##foryou ##microscope ##CustomersMostLoved ##velabco ##DoTheJuJu

It basically looks like a bubble bath, making me love coffee even more.

Bananas making bananas 🍌 ##foryou ##didyouknow ##microscope ##velabco ##SaveIt4TheEndZone ##banana ##cells

Why no, Dodson, I did not know that banana cells look just like little bananas. But I certainly can’t un-know it moving forward.

We all have a science nerd inside, an inner curiosity that wants to know how things work, both big and small.

That’s what makes TikTok truly amazing for its bite-sized glimpses into subjects we might not otherwise be aware of.

Trust me, I did not wake up thinking I’d go down a rabbit hole like this one, but I’m so glad I did. Thanks Justice Dodson for sharing your passion and for helping us see the world in a whole new way.

This article originally appeared on 01.09.18

Teacher Deyshia Hargrave begged the question. Minutes later, she was handcuffed and placed in the backseat of a cop car. The scene was captured below by YouTube user Chris Rosa, who attended a board meeting for Vermilion Parish Schools in Louisiana. You can watch Hargrave begin speaking about 33 seconds in. The situation starts becoming contentious around 6:35 minutes. Hargrave is arrested at 8:35, and then walked outside in handcuffs and placed in the back of police vehicle.

"We work very hard with very little to maintain the salaries that we have," Hargrave, who teaches middle school language arts, said during a public comment portion of the meeting, stating that she's seen classroom sizes balloon during her time at the school with no increased compensation. "We're meeting those goals, while someone in that position of leadership [the superintendent] is getting raise? It's a sad, sad day to be a teacher in Vermilion Parish."

According to comments Hargrave made to BuzzFeed News, she believes Superintendent Jerome Puyau was already making $110,000 before the board voted to give him a raise of $38,000. The raise alone is roughly the salary of "a teacher, or two cafeteria workers, or two janitors," Hargrave told the outlet.

"You're going to leave, or I'm going to remove you," the officer told her, as seen in the video. Many people in attendance seemed shocked. "Are you serious?" someone asked, aghast, in the crowd.

Hargrave leaves the room, followed by the officer. But moments later, someone chimed in, "he's putting her in handcuffs" — and the room erupts in disarray.

"I am not [resisting], you just pushed me to the floor!" Hargrave is heard screaming at the officer, as he forcibly removes her down the hallway and out the building in handcuffs. "Sir, hold on! I am way smaller than you!"

According to KATV News, Hargrave was booked in the city jail for resisting an officer — a fact that left many commenters online flabbergasted. School officials are reportedly not pressing charges. "Umm ... what charges could they possibly make?" one Redditor noted.

With help from the Reddit community, Rosa's video has gone viral, garnering more than 600,000 views in less than 24 hours. Clearly, Hargrave's earnest question about inequality in our education system — met with a grotesque abuse of power — has clearly touched a nerve with people across the country.

"I don't know how this teacher could have been more polite and patient in her earnest desire to find out why the superintendent deserves a raise while the teachers work harder with less," YouTube commenter Scott Wells chimed in. "She continued to press because they refused to come up with an answer. Seems like a good question to me."